Below is reliable pre-incident indicators associated with spousal violence. If several of these indicators are occurring, there is cause for concern. For this reason, when working with the families we serve, it is important to be aware of and document any of the indicators observed.

• When the victim has intuitive feelings of being at risk.
• In the beginning of the relationship the batterer accelerated the pace, prematurely placing on the agenda things such as commitment, living together or marriage.
• The batterer resolves conflict with intimidation, bullying, or violence.
• The batterer is verbally abusive.
• The batterer uses threats and intimidation to control or abuse. This includes threats of harm, defamation, embarrassment, abandonment, and restricting freedom.
• The batterer breaks or strikes things in anger. Also using symbolic violence like ripping photographs.
• The batterer has a history of battering.
• The batterer uses alcohol or drugs with adverse effects such as memory loss, hostility, or cruelty.
• The batterer uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse or explanation for the hostile conduct.
• The batterer has a history of encounters with the police for behavioral offenses.
• The batterer uses money to control the activities, purchases, and behavior of the victim.
• The batterer becomes jealous of anyone or anything that takes the victim’s time away from the relationship and keeps a ‘tight leash’ on the victim.
• The batterer refuses to accept rejection.
• The batterer expects the relationship to go on forever.
• The batterer projects extreme emotions onto others (hate, love, jealousy) even when there is no evidence to warrant it.
• The batterer minimizes incidents of abuse.
• The batterer derives their own identity from the victim.
• The batterer has stalked the victim.
• The batterer believes others are out to get them.
• The batterer resists change and is described as inflexible, unwilling to compromise.
• The batterer identifies with and compares themselves to violent people in films, news stories, fiction, or history characterizing the violence as justified.
• The batterer suffers mood swings or is sullen, angry, or depressed.
• The batterer consistently blames others for problems of their own making, refusing to take responsibility for the results of their actions.
• The batterer refers to weapons as instruments of power, control, or revenge.
• The batterer has or talks about guns and collects weapons.
• The batterer makes all the decisions in the house and acts like the master.
• The batterer has experienced or witnessed child violence.
• The victim fears they will be injured or killed by the batterer.

RESOURCES: Book – The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker

Domestic Violence Resources in Circuit 12: Domestic Violence Resources